A Birth Story... Cause Oh My Word!

I didn't post a birth story per se for Isaiah. I wrote a few notes about how it all went down in his baby book, but didn't want to make him feel too bad about his entry into the world, so I didn't go into many details of the horrors.

I don't know why we even have "birth plans." We didn't exactly have a "plan" this time, but we had a playlist of music ready for labor, some Jim Gaffigan stand-up comedy to distract me during early contractions, and hopes of getting into the birthing tub at the hospital before things got too intense. Jon would have liked to trim his beard and I wouldn't have minded getting a shower and looking presentable for those all-important first photos either. Ha! God must just laugh...

Because I'm an elderly 36 years-old, my OBGYN didn't want me to go past 40 weeks. We convinced them to hedge a tad and give me two days beyond my "due date." Jon had two very busy MBA night classes for the 5 weeks leading up to my due date, February 9th, ending in a final exam going till about 9:30pm that night, but then he had a week off school and could take a week off work. So, I really didn't want to go early. The Lord graciously did let us have that part of our plan.

On Friday, the 10th, Jon went to work and I started with the natural induction wives' tales while I finished up nesting around the house and wrapping up work. We went for a walk that sunny afternoon. Then headed out to Bonefish for some Bang Bang Shrimp, which worked with our firstborn, it seemed extra spicy this time. When we got home my parents, and aunt convinced us to try Castor Oil (Yuck!) to take advantage of the last few hours before I'd be shot up with Pitocin which was kinda the opposite of our "birth plan." I took 2 doses of 1 tablespoon of the laxative by 9:30pm. With my parents in the guest room to take care of the kids for the weekend, assuming we'd be headed to the hospital early in the morning for the induction, Jon and I finally hit our pillows just before 11:30pm, with no signs of labor, but some rumbling in my tummy.

At midnight, I woke up with severe abdominal pain and went to the restroom to see if the Castor Oil was moving things along in the way it's originally intended. It was, but the pains kept coming and when I stood up, the liquid I assumed was probably urine when I sat down, kept coming too. So, after about 3 contractions and some more confidence that my water had definitely broken, I woke Jon up. We had just gotten undressed an hour ago, but we scrambled between contractions to get redressed and gather our things. I think Jon had a hard time believing me when I told him about the start of each contraction so he could time them--they were already averaging 2 minutes apart!!

He called the hospital and told them my water had broken, they said to come on in, but to come through triage or something to get checked before they admitted me. "Tell them how far apart the contractions are!" I shrieked.

When we got to Norton Suburban, at 12:46am, we found a wheelchair, and I screamed as he pushed me through the check-in area. We had to stop to give the desk my social security number. Jon couldn't remember it, so I yelled it out in front a full waiting room. Whoops!

I guess they took me seriously at this point, cause when they found out my water had broken they let us go right back to a room. Things were so intense we didn't even make it to our intended 5b, but ended up in room 1a because it was closer.

I had been begging for someone to get the anesthesiologist since the parking lot, I wanted an epidural STAT! Annoyingly calmly they said they had to check me, get some blood work, and start an IV first. Turns out, they don't always get their plans either.

I was 9cm dilated and ready to push before they could get blood work or an IV. My doctor didn't even make it over from Baptist East (5 min away maybe) even though she ran a red light!

After barely an hour from start to finish (and only 21 minutes in the hospital) of agony, howling, and asking for an epidural, at 1:07am we met our little Paul Jonathan Charles! At 9lbs 11oz, he tore me up, but slightly less than Isaiah did. So, the next hour and a half was pretty miserable as the doctor's repair job took longer than Paul's demolition. Poor kid didn't come out unscathed either as his rapid entry into the world left him bruised and a bit traumatized. Part of the rush was that his heart rate was dropping in utero, so Jon didn't get to catch or cut the cord like he'd "planned" to. We were denied delayed cord clamping cause Paulie needed to get stimulated quickly to get his heart rate up. But after he recovered, we got some extended skin to skin for a couple hours, which was good for both our souls.

At 3:30 or 4am we were transferred to our Mother and Baby room. The nurses checked on us and we settled in. At 5am, a phone started vibrating, and I was all "Who is calling us at this hour?!" We identified the source as my phone in my purse. And as it kept buzzing, it hit me: it was my alarm. It was time to call the hospital and get ready for my induction!
Um, we won't be needing that alarm, or that induction, we're holding our baby now, thanks!!

When they handed me Isaiah 2 years ago, the first thing anyone said was "He's so alert!" Paul seems a little more chill as we've barely seen his eyes open in his first day of life. His feet almost didn't fit on the ink pad for the footprints, and newborn clothes are almost a joke.

Overall, the moral of the story is, you probably don't need to try ALL the wives' tales in one day. Unless you really want to risk having your baby in the car or in the hospital parking lot. Also, for the second time in a row, Bonefish Bang Bang Shrimp for the win!

"Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!" -2 Corinthians 9:15

(Reasons for the name post to follow soon)