#3Under16

I don't flatter myself that this hashtag will catch on. However, I've been meaning to post about this since I had #3Under15, so I better hurry as that second number keeps creeping up, and I'll have #3Under17 tomorrow!

You've all heard mamas talk about their struggles with 2 under 2, or 3 under 3, or one friend from our Sunday School class with 6 under 7!! 😂

I agree, the struggle is real. None of your children can go to the bathroom by the themselves, put their shoes on the proper feet, make it through the day without crying about something, cut their own meat, the list could go on and on. We had 2 under 2 for 10 days, I know it's intense.

But what you may not know is that 3 under 16 is still a handful!

None of these people can drive themselves anywhere! Fortunately, 1 of them can buckle her own seat belt and even help with the other 2, but she's also the reason we're usually driving anywhere. At the end of the school year, Angie won the Triple Threat award for playing a different sport all 3 seasons of the year! That meant a lot of tagging along and cheering for her little brothers, and a lot of driving and coordinating for us parents. I'm gonna start buying 15 year-olds Uber gift cards for their birthdays, or maybe I'll buy them for their parents' birthdays, as their parents are the unpaid taxi drivers toting them to practices, friends' houses, games, school, events, and of course shopping!

The real challenge with 3 under 16 is cohesiveness. Everyone's always going in different directions. I've mentioned it before, finding fun for all the ages is nearly impossible. There are few things that engage Angie that the boys are able to participate in. When Angie needs help with geometry homework, the boys need help bathing and getting into their pajamas. When Paul needs to nap, Isaiah needs to stay awake (lest he keep us up all night), and Angie needs desperately to be taken to the mall or the movies. Reading stories as a family, watching movies, playing games, even going on vacations is tricky with 14+ years between the kids.

Even with #3Under16, perfect family pictures are an unattainable goal. Never will they all be looking at the camera, and if you catch that unicorn moment when they are, someone will have their eyes closed or be making a weird face.

But the fun part is that they adore each other! The boys are just starting to get to the point where they can interact without screaming or biting. Angie would still prefer to bring a friend along on outings, but sometimes enjoys being seen with or helping her brothers, if it doesn't cramp her style too much. Yesterday, 4 teenage girls swooned at Paul on the beach, Angie should have made some new friends.

Next week, we'll have one on a tricycle, one on a balance bike, and one with a driver's permit! Lord, help us all. I'm not one to grasp at time as it flies by too quickly, but these next, possibly last, 2 family years sure do look short and fleeting. May we maximize every moment for training, bonding, and loving well for as long as we have #3UnderOurRoof. 

My Sunshine

After Angie came to live with me in Bolivia, we would often take walks with our only other family member at the time, our darling Labrador, Ruby. During those strolls, Angie would open up to me and tell me about her past. There was something freeing about the activity, the fresh air, being side by side instead of face to face maybe. Sometimes, it seemed that her little 8 year-old mind was forming the thoughts as she was sharing them, as if she was digging up stories that had long been buried.

It was on one such walk when she mentioned that her name wasn't always Angie. She used to have another name, she told me, but she didn't like it, kids made fun of her, "it was the name of some kind of oil or something." So, her mother at the time, changed her name to her own name, Angelica.

That day, I found out that before my little girl was called "like an Angel," her name was Girasol. When Angie told me this, I remember stopping dead in my tracks. Stunned. I had never heard that name before. And she had no idea that Girasol had been the perfect name for her. As this was long before I had a smart phone, I had to wait until we got home, open the computer, and pull up "Girasol" on Google Images. Her eyes lit up as the screen did with gorgeous, brilliant, breathtaking Sunflowers.

My little girl is turning 16 this week, and we celebrated last night by filling the house with laughter, food, friends, and sunflowers.

 

If you know Angie, you know that when she smiles, her face glows as bright as any sunflower. There is no happier happy than Angie's. When God saw the world needed a little more sunshine, he created my Sunflower. 

Angie, mi Girasol, if you remember from the vast fields of sunflowers in Bolivia, they are drawn to the direction of the Sun, and when they face skyward they are in their full glory. Sweet Girl, you too, will be your most glorious, your most beautiful, exactly the perfection you were created to be, when you face heavenward, and look to the Son. Thank you for bringing so much light into our family. I know God will use you to shine into the lives of so many others for a long long time.

Feliz cumpleaños a Ti, mi Amor! Te quiero mucho!

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." -Matthew 5:16

Trampoline Memories

I'm not particularly traditional, but I do like traditions. There's a set of 12 Days of Christmas drinking glasses, literally with my name on it, at my grandparents' house. In 1992, they wrote "Bequeathed to Lauren Spears," on the box, because I'm the one who most cherishes the moments around the dinner table on Christmas Eve when we all sing the song together. Let's be real, I'm the only one who will admit to cherishing it at all, but everyone's laughing as they're complaining about it every.single.year. 

In Of Mess and Moxie, Jen Hatmaker says, "Mamas, the traditions and experiences we provide during the Family Years are paving a road our kids can always return to, one that always points home. There is something about a recurring shared memory; the sum becomes greater than the parts." 

That really resonated with me. And as our Family Years with Angie are slipping away, we wanted to be sure to take advantage of what time we have left. So, we signed up for our third year of Family Camp, fully aware the place wasn't going to be baby-proofed per se, but still a little surprised at just how mischievous Paul could be.

Here's what Paul was supposed to be doing at the kid singalong times during camp worship 4 different times throughout the weekend.

Here's what he did instead. Approximately 7,854 times he attempted to climb the stairs onto the stage.

Can you see him looking back at me and grinning?

He was so cute about it that all these boys in the front rows became his cheering section. They learned his name the first night from his nametag, and had a running commentary of "Baby Paul's" activity the rest of camp. If he could write, he would have been signing autographs by day 2.

Needless to say, camp was not exactly the peaceful getaway we dreamed it might be, but we made memories.

It's hard to find fun that works for all our kiddos with the 12-year age gap. When we decided to buy a trampoline for them a couple Christmases ago, we hoped it would bridge the gap a bit. Silly of us I know, but I think we anticipated a lot more jumping. We fretted over the "1 person at a time" guidelines stated by the box, because we envisioned it as a place for family fun, but we had no idea what we were in store for. 

Very little actual jumping or acrobatics are done on the trampoline, which should be keeping our insurance premiums down. Instead, it makes for a perfect shade cover for Ruby and the boys as they tear up the yard below in their makeshift "sandbox."

But, hands down, our favorite times with the trampoline so far, are trampoline picnics. Friday evenings this spring/summer, when no one is obligated elsewhere, you'll find us grabbing some carryout and taking it out back. 

The trampoline provides such a fun, peaceful, easy environment, that we've talked about moving all our meals out there, but spaghetti, soup, actually most any food, would not cooperate on our bouncy laps. So, if you try this at home, we recommend KFC tenders, biscuits, and tater wedges. No one said trampoline picnics were healthy, but what they lack in physical nourishment they make up for in mental and emotional family healing. 

What's so different about a trampoline picnic than a regular picnic, you might ask. Well, bugs. We have virtually no problems with bugs crawling or flying near us since we're off the ground and surrounded by a net. 

Second, movement. Something about being confined to a chair, makes our boys basically lose their appetites. And children climbing all over me during mealtimes, makes me basically lose my mind. So, to keep both their hunger and my sanity, the children grab a bite, then take a lap, do a handstand, have a tickle fight, start a game of dodgeball, or tackle someone... The options are as limitless as the sky we're eating under.

 

  

Even Ruby kind of gets in on the fun.

But these are just the logistics.

What really makes this family night into a nearly guaranteed success is the togetherness. This space is almost sacred. The clean-up, homework, housework, and schedules can't be heard calling to us this far from the house. Phones and distractions are minimized, physical touch and laughter are at an all time high. The trampoline is the closest thing to completely Baby-Paul-proofed that we have found, and it's so sweet to enjoy each other without the word "No" tainting our conversation regularly.

I'm not sure how long these encapsulated meals will last, as Angie's independence and freedom threaten to lead her in many different directions. But the de-stressing moments of pure joy that we've already shared are enough for me to recommend you go buy a trampoline, or create a tradition perfect for your own tribe.  I'm so grateful we've found ours.