Thursday, January 17, 2013

Germs

Angie got the flu.  She's never been sick in the two years she's been with me, but this new cold, dry winter combined with all the bugs she's never been exposed to in her petri dish of a classroom got the better of her, and from what her teacher tells me, much of her class.  She's not been enjoying fifth grade in the U.S. much.  When she skipped a semester of 3rd grade the teacher told us what she had taught and we worked hard for three weeks to catch her up. In December, we moved to the States in the middle of her 4th grade year, and they said, "She's ten, she belongs in the 5th grade." So, she missed two semester's worth of material and this time she's feeling it.  

All this to say, when she said her head hurt and she was dizzy on Friday morning, I wasn't at all sure it wasn't just an attempt to lounge on the couch and watch TV. I wasn't sure that is, until Jon got home from work and told me we had a thermometer, which we promptly used to find out she had a fever of 102.7°. She's very sensitive in general, and I tend to believe she's overreacting about most ailments, but a temperature of + or - 103 for 4 days, is hard to call "crying wolf."

So, she didn't leave the house for five days, except to go to the doctor to get tested positive for the flu and an ear infection. You other moms with sick kiddos always seem to be raving about how sweet and cuddly your munchkins are when they're sick, but aren't you worried about them sharing their germs if they're all snuggly?  What we enjoyed more was her docile compliance.  Who is this child and how can we keep her? I felt like the pet-owners who more often than not ask if we can give them something to maintain their puppy's sedated state after surgery, "She's so calm," they say, "it's nice..."

I learned that the nursing side of mothering is one of the few that comes kind of naturally to me. I woke up in the middle of the night to check on her, medicate her, humidify her room, and wet the washcloth for her forehead. The first days, I had to rack my brain for ideas of how to comfort her when she was even too sick to watch TV, and I remembered in The Princess Bride when Colombo reads to Fred Savage. So between Jon, my mom and I, we read hours and hours of Little Women. Yesterday, my dad came over and tutored her on adding fractions for a heroic six hours.  And finally she is "well."

Last night, she looked up as she hugged me goodnight and said, 

"Thank you." 

"For what?" I asked.  

"For everything while I was sick." 

I tried to remember her sweet and sincere gratitude in that moment, when the time came to drag her out of bed this morning to return to school, and she was back to her old, very strong-willed, self. Maybe if we could just find a way to maintain her temperature at ~101°, a perfect balance between feisty and subdued......

Friday, January 11, 2013

An Accidental Funeral


I went to a funeral this week, kind of by accident. My mom and I arrived at the visitation as everyone was heading into the service, so I just figured it was easier to stay. You know how some people vomit when they see others vomit, and everyone yawns when someone else yawns? Turns out it happens with crying too. I’d never met this person, but I found myself pulling tissues out of my purse with the best of them. The funeral was for a daughter of a friend, a tortured young soul of 22 who had overdosed after struggling with drugs for some time. During the really thoughtful and beautiful ceremony I wondered how difficult it must be to put together a message for the funeral of someone who’s not a Christian...
“If you died tomorrow...” You’ve all heard the subsequent question, “where would you go?” But I thought of the alternate ending, “If you die tomorrow, where have you been? What have you done?” Are we doing what we would be doing if the end were near?  Are we spending ourselves on things of value?
"Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God." -Ephesians 4:1 (NLT)

Are we living worthy of the call?
The pastor closed with a touching challenge, that went something like this;  
We have all made mistakes, we’ve all been confused. And now, it would be a terrible mistake on our parts to remember this girl by a bad choice she made or a time she was confused, instead of the life she lived and the person she was.
"A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them, they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship." -Rainer Maria Rilke
"I've never met anyone that was all bad. Mostly bad, yes, but never all bad. Everyone once was a child, and that gives me hope for people. They just end up bringing to the table what they have and they do what they do for a reason, even if they don't know themselves what it is. Takes time to find it sometimes, but there is always a reason." -Crossroads, by WM. Paul Young.
All of this is a gentle reminder to me, and maybe you, to see the sweet child God created in each person we come across, even though sometimes that child is deeply hidden, and to live each moment with a purpose.