A Story of Hope

When we think we're helping, are we often really hurting?

Is it possible to give without causing dependency?

How do we balance the fine line between aiding and enabling? Are we even sure where the line is? 

Can a home makeover bring about more than a new home, but a fresh start?

These are the questions that run through our minds as we surrender to the all but irresistible urge to "help" a young mother and her infant. How could we look the other way while a new life comes into the world without a shelter to cover it, or a bed to rest on?

Patty Laurence and I have known Lauren H. for over a year, as she's frequented the homeless shelters and feeding programs where we serve. And over the past few months while she survived this brutally cold winter in a tent downtown, her belly has been swelling with a life bringing both hope and fear.

At only 20 years old, Lauren was a bit terrified by the idea of taking care of another person, when taking care of herself was sometimes so overwhelming. The anxiety paralyzed her so much that one week before her due date, Lauren had no place to live or ANYTHING at all for the child. 

Her impending labor pushed her to the top of the list for an organization called Shelter Care Plus, and finally, one day before she was due to give birth, she had an apartment. Patty and I took her to doctors' appointments, A Woman's Choice pregnancy center, LG&E, the pharmacy, and we put the word out about her needs. That's when many of you stepped in so generously.

With a new crib, a closet full of clothes and accessories, diapers for miles, and so many other sweet donations, the only thing missing was the baby. So, Brooklyn La'Shae took her cue on July 21st  and entered the world.The fun was just beginning. As Lauren recovered and Brooklyn grew, the fabulous people at God's Designs were preparing to use donated furniture to turn Lauren's barren apartment into a furnished home. This morning, Lauren and I left her place at 9:30am and shuffled between our house, the park, the doctor, and the pharmacy, until we were allowed to return for the Big Reveal at 2:00pm. It was incredible!!!

From sleeping on cardboard outside of businesses a year ago, Lauren has come a long way to a fully furnished 2-bedroom apartment. She plans to get plugged into Necole's Place now to take parenting classes and get her GED. She's over the moon excited to have a kitchen to cook in, instead of the hotplate she's been using for two years. And she's thrilled to do normal grown-up things like pay her first bill when LG&E sends their invoice for this month.

As Lauren's husband, Michael, comes home soon, and the glow of her new place wears off, Patty and I are well aware of how far the battle--to keep them off the streets and break Brooklyn out of the cycle of poverty--is from won. We also know that although all the stuff everyone provided was so urgently necessary, what Lauren needs long-term is mentoring. 

It would not truly be love if we loaded up her home with goodies, and then continued to hold her hand, drive her around, make her phone calls, and fill her pantry. If we let go of Lauren and Brooklyn, yes, they are likely to fall. But if we keep carrying them, neither of them will ever learn to walk.

So, I think it's time we give these two some space to grow. We can still be there when they scrape their knees, but with the real medicine that is more than just a band-aid, but rather Christ's love that empowers.

Weaker Than I Thought

I adopted Angie because I thought I was strong enough.

God gave me Angie because I thought I was strong enough,
 and He knew I needed to learn otherwise.

It took me almost four years to come to this ironic conclusion.

I thought I was capable of raising a child alone. Other, younger, less mature, less educated, less financially prepared people raise children all the time. Of course, I would have no problem. I mean, yeah, I'd have like regular problems, but I was plenty qualified. So I pushed on through the 6 month foreign (and I mean in Spanish) adoption process. Seriously, if I could navigate that I could navigate parenthood, right?

I thought I was fully equipped to give this child what she needed; a home, a family, love, a mother. In all honesty, I was a bit terrified and unsure, but I convinced myself, with the help of some of you, that whatever attempt at a home and one on one care I could offer was more than an orphanage had to give.

But it wasn't just Angie that God was rescuing when He brought us together. I see now that it was precisely because I thought I had it all under control that He saw it necessary to show me the truth. 

Through motherhood, God's taken me down a notch. He's taught me grace and compassion where before there was too often judgement. He's shown me sides of myself I never had to stare at before there was a little mirror reflecting all my flaws at me. 

God used Angie to prepare me for the selflessness marriage would require. To put me on a path toward patience. To give me an empathy for parents of all kinds and a vulnerability to start real conversations about hard stuff.

He's broken me to the place where I need Him to be whole, and in my weakness, with Him I am stronger than I was when I thought I had it all together. Mostly, because now I know I don't.

Today, I finally called about counseling, admitting out loud, that I'm not enough to heal this child's wounds.

I adopted Angie because I thought I was strong enough.

God gave me Angie to prove to me I'm not strong enough. And to show me He is.

“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 

-2 Corinthians 12:9

Angie beaming with pride in her work on my hair and nails today, just a few minutes before she was crying about something else.