A Little Transparency

Month five here has been a little harder than the first four. One of the biggest reasons being that life has slowed down a lot, and those of you who know me well at all, probably recognize that was not a change of pace I invited.

The vet I've been volunteering for has discontinued his relationship with the shelter for whom I was spaying and neutering. And the organization for women from prison I was working with, Free Hands, got evicted from their building and is now in an extended transition to a new one. Not only have these changes left me with more free time, but also a lack of a sense of purpose. I feel in a way, and to some degree, God is stripping me of everything I have to offer to remind me that it's not about me, or in my strength that I have anything worth sharing.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." -2 Corinthians 12:9

Then today at an afternoon women's retreat we focused on Psalm 23.

"The LORD is my shepherd,

I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside quiet waters.

He restores my soul;

He guides me in the paths of righteousness

For His name's sake."

-Psalm 23:1-3

One of the highlights for me was the attention we paid to the word "makes." For some of us who resemble the Biblical personality Martha more than Mary, sometimes He has to make us stop doing and serving and going, so that He can restore our soul. (For the Marys out there, some translations read "lets" instead, indicating that there's no need to feel guilty lying in a green pasture, for those to whom it does come more naturally.) This seems to be a season of quiet waters, before the rush of activity March will bring with the move and the new job.

In other news, at the Girl's Day Out today, I also cried for my first time in Bolivia. As a thinker instead of a feeler, when I arrived I probably semi-consciously chose not to go through culture shock, and in doing so decided that crying at all might open a flood gate of emotion, so it was to be avoided as well. But this stoicity had gone on long enough. So today, in a room brimming with estrogen, surrounded by nearly thirty teary missionary women, I gave in to peer pressure. No. No pressure, just real women with real stories of difficult adoptions, a father with cancer, and the realization that the Free Hands ladies are out of work and not able to provide for their families since the eviction. Also touching, were the beautiful voices of these ladies rising to God in unified praise, and the remembrance of just how worthy He is of our adoration.

Haiti on my Heart

It's been nearly two weeks since the devastating earthquake, but I can't seem to get the people off my mind. Yesterday, was the World Day of Prayer and Fasting for Haiti, which conveniently fit with my need to practice the subjunctive tense through prayers in Spanish during multiple classes.

Between the news articles, the blogs from long-term missionary friends living there, and notes from short-term missionary friends and family visiting, I've been bombarded with messages and my heart's been breaking a bit.

Some of my extended family was nearing the end of a short-term mission trip on that tragic Tuesday. But for the sheer grace of God they were not harmed, "Mandie Scott and four others were taken by the Fond Parisien missionary to visit a school in Port-au-Prince but could not find a parking space. About 20 minutes into the return trip to the mission, the earthquake struck. Had they found a place to park, they would have been inside a building that collapsed. Bobby Scott was on the beach at Jacmel taking a video of four of the other guys swimming in the bay when the earthquake hit. It knocked him to the ground. The swimmers left the water, and they all got up to higher ground. Shortly afterward, a tsunami wave estimated at about 15 to 20 feet high inundated the beach." I thank God for these small miracles.

Kelly Crowdis is a CVM missionary living in Haiti. In her December prayer letter she closed with this thought, "I am so amazed and awed by the wonderful workings of God. I don't know if it's the transformation He is doing in my life or if He is really starting to show Himself more here in Haiti (maybe it's both.)" It's hard to believe that God could be working good through the destruction and sadness that we see all over the news, but as Chris Harp from Spend Yourself the apparel company noted; 2 days before the disaster people in Haiti were already dying in extreme poverty. Maybe this is what it took to turn the world's attention to this long-neglected country. Chris blogged, "The country of Haiti and its citizens will never be the same…I HOPE."

I pray the Lord will use this event to draw people together to share in His love for years to come.

"Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." -Isaiah 1:17

Sorpresa (Surprise)

This week's fiesta: my friend Savannah's surprise birthday celebration. So, maybe we've been averaging one or more parties per week recently, but if you don't move a little slower and party a little more in Latin America, then what are stereotypes really good for...

Savannah is one of the most selfless people I know. So, we decided to make yesterday all about her, by taking her to a park, preparing all her favorite foods, making her wear a ridiculous hat, swing blindfolded at a hilarious piñata, and stand in front of everyone to open embarrassing presents. Wow, it doesn't seem as nice when I read it like that...

The Lord blessed us with a beautiful day (a real Godsend in the midst of the rainy season), awesome company--including her mom in town from Tennessee for the week, and, as always with this crew, a lot of laughs.

Among the many things that make Savannah and my spirits kindred are our loves for running, desserts, Bolivia and Proverb 3:27,

"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it."

Swimming in the New Year

Many of you respond with incredulity when I speak of pool parties here. This is how I feel when you talk about heating blankets and snuggies.

My missionary friends, the Wolheters, who I rave about often, are blessed to have a pool in their yard, and when they travel I am blessed to share that blessing. To ring in the new year, we had about 15 people over to swim and attempt a variety of cultural traditions. Such as eating 12 grapes at midnight for luck in the 12 months to come.

Toting a suitcase around the neighborhood to ensure good travels in the coming year. Lighting off fireworks at midnight to endanger our lives, okay maybe we just had sparklers, but I was still intimidated. We also began a number of traditions this year, but I imagine we'll all continue them for many generations. Forming a human pyramid on a concrete sidewalk. Toasting with apple champagne. And playing Bingo as our first order of business in the new decade.

Shortly after cleaning up from that fiesta we decided to share the pool with some niños who don't get to swim very often. So infrequently in fact, that some of them started taking off their newly acquired swimwear when they were asked to take off their clothes for the pool.

My friends from language school Matthew and Savannah both volunteer in orphanages, and Matthew had the brilliant idea to give the kids a day at the pool. So 14 boys from Pequeño David and 6 little ones from Casa De Amor enjoyed a beautiful day, a variety of inflatable toys, snacks, games, and hours of water-time before we basically had to drag them out to dry off.

The opportunity to bask in community like this helped me decide between difficult housing choices for my move to Santa Cruz in a couple months. It looks like I'm gonna take the bigger place with more space for entertaining. So I'll have plenty of room for you when you visit, I don't think I'll have a pool though. Sorry, I'm sure the Wolheters will let you use theirs.