Well you know me, I can't miss out on a trend. Wait, no, that must be someone else. But I do have quite a few bloggable ideas swimming around in my head, and none are alone worthy of a post, so I thought I'd try jumping on this bandwagon. I'm going a little rogue though, in that I don't actually have a theme for my top five list, so I'm pulling them all together with my very opinionated over the top title.
Here's what God's been showing me lately.
1.You get to choose your attitude.
Your reaction, your response, even your emotion are all in your power.
I tell Angie she doesn't have to be a perfectionist, she doesn't have to be lazy. She thinks these words are spoken into being, without an antidote. What's done is done. When we've called her a perfectionist or lazy, she assumed it was like us telling her she has black hair or brown skin, it is written. So, now I have to use my words to undo what my other words have done. "You can choose not to be lazy, you can choose to get out of bed before my fifth wake up call."
I want her to stop repeating that she's lazy and keep telling me "I'm a Cookie Smart," like she did yesterday when she figured something out on her own. She quickly realized she meant "Smart Cookie" but it was priceless to hear her repeat my positive words instead of my negativity.
I need to speak words into myself as well. My short temper is not inborn like my hazel eyes. My low frustration threshold is not an excuse. Instead of telling my husband that's just the way I am, and expecting him to adjust accordingly, I can change.
Someone in our small group last night said she'd heard, "We choose to stress."
Hmmmmm....
Yesterday, between the hours of 3:00pm and 8:00pm I had 4 hours of homework to walk Angie through, a Grand Opening at Jefferson Street Baptist Center (my favorite homeless hangout), Ange's basketball practice, dinner to cook for my family, dinner to prepare and take to the neighbors who have a new baby, and our young married couples' small group to attend.
If stress is defined as "pressure or tension exerted on a material object" then I don't think I created that tension, I think it was exerted on me as I was pulled in 17 directions.
The second definition, however, is "a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances." The ensuing headache also seemed outside of my control, but my reaction and my emotions were within my power. I could have made better choices about my tone of voice, my patience, my priorities, and avoided apologizing to Angie and Jon later.
Take your thoughts captive. Breathe deep. Then choose a mantra or say a breath prayer:
Refuse to Worry
Give Thanks Not Anger
Love Casts Out Fear
What are some of yours?
2. You can only think one thought at a time.
Replace your negative thoughts.
Pink Elephant. Try to stop thinking about a pink elephant. Go.
Red Dog. If you successfully stopped thinking about pink elephants it's because you replaced the image with something else, a red dog perhaps, or something of your own volition if you recognized the need to focus on an alternative.
Why don't we do this with our emotions as well?
Ann Voskamp says, "You can only have one emotion at a time." You can't feel anger and gratitude at once. You choose. It seems like a pretty clear choice if you put it that way, doesn't it? There may be five things to be upset about at this moment, but I guarantee you have 100 things to be grateful for. Maybe you have a whole pile of things to worry about, to-do lists to stress over, real dangers to fear, but what if you took inventory of gifts to thank God for... Could the second list be longer? Could you focus more energy on that list than the first?
What's stealing your joy? Grief, guilt, rage, anxiety, fear?
Take it back. Choose joy. Choose peace. Choose love, thanksgiving, good. Meditate on the fruit of the Spirit. Store up these things in your heart.
3. It does no good to choose your path, if your heart's not in it.
Submission.
I mentioned in my last post my snide remarks and sarcasm about this interminable hunting season. Somehow I think I thought I was respecting my husband by not throwing down ultimatums about his hobby. I doubt there's a book out there on respecting your man that recommends under-your-breath remarks as a way to bolster his ego. Do you ever hear the words coming out of your mouth as if you're another person? If only I could get that outside perspective--hear the lasting reverberations of my statements--before they're spoken. Then maybe I'd make better choices.
Jon wants to go to Florida for Thanksgiving to see some of his family. I'm not entirely sure 28 hours in the car with the child asking if we're there yet, is going to put me in a thankful mood. But he spends loads of time with my family so I haven't put up a huge fuss about the idea. Last night, I was talking to someone on the phone about how I'm going to miss the Jefferson Street Baptist Center Thanksgiving meal 'cause we'll be on the road to FL, and I threw in some half-sardonic explanation about submission. Again I heard myself too late. Submission's probably kinda like humility, if you're telling people you've got it down, maybe you don't.
That's not to say I'm ready to filter all of my commentary or completely curtail my snarkiness, but I'm about ready to quit kidding myself that I'm truly submitting or being respectful. Seems like I'm on the right track at least.
4. No one controls you, but you.
He didn't make you mad. She didn't stress you out.
If you're a parent, you've learned/are learning that you don't control your kids. So, why don't we carry that thought into our adult lives and realize others don't control us. Our circumstances don't control us.
From an 11 year-old the logic seems so clearly flawed, "Mom, why do you keep making me angry?!" "I couldn't help it, she made me mess up." "He distracted me."
As grown-ups we're no better. We constantly blame our situation and our surroundings. "That made me upset." "Why did you make me do that?" "If you hadn't done that I wouldn't have..." "I don't want to yell all the time, but when you don't listen..." No wonder our kids do it. Until we're accountable for our actions, why would they be?
It's about time we take back control of our lives. Responsibility for our attitudes. Rein in our hearts. Make healthy choices.
And while we're at it, how 'bout we take charge of our wardrobes...
5. Yoga Pants are for yoga.
(I just had to throw this one in there, because it really might make the world a better place)
If they were for the airport, they'd be called Airport Pants. But they're not. They're not Grocery Store Pants, or Shopping Mall Pants, definitely not Church-Going Pants, or even Coffee Shop Pants. If you're not on your way to the yoga studio, or actually on the mat, cover up your bum! Yeah, you're butt looks good, that's the point, my husband doesn't want to see that, and if you're married, I'm hoping you're husband doesn't want my husband to see that either. Come on ladies let's look out for one another here.
This Thanksgiving replace your spandex with denim and we'll all be grateful.
But seriously friends, "Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
-Thoughts inspired by Jimmy Evans, Ann Voskamp, Danny Silk, Dave Stone, and Jesus Christ
-If this post sounds like it wasn't written for you, you're right, I'm the one who needed to write it, to process it, and to live it.
1 comment:
Amen sister! Yogi pants gotta go to Yoga or stay at home with BooBoo.
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