Leaving "Team Spears" and all that implies is not something I do without a heavy heart. But I trust that the next time there's a race to be run or an adventure to be had they'll let us join up as honorary members. On the other hand, it is with no reservations whatsoever that I drop all references to Brittany Spears. I did not really teach her to dance, I'm sorry if I lead you astray when you asked if we were cousins.
Angie has her own misgivings. Not that she'd have any desire to team up for another race the rest of her life, nor does she really even know who Britney is, but she is understandably a bit weary of change.
When she was born her given name was Girasol. She hated it, kids made fun of her. It wasn't until she'd been with me for a year that I learned of her original name, and showed her its true meaning. She thought it meant oil, because she saw it on bottles for cooking. I explained it was actually a perfect name for her as her laughter and beauty could brighten any room. To prove it, I typed in "Girasol" to Google Images and showed her how appropriate her name had been. As the screen lit up, so did her face. Her first name was Sunflower.
But since she didn't care for Girasol, her second mom, the woman who was raising her, changed her name to her own; Angelica, and she carried her "mother" and "father"'s last names: Angelica Titile Villegas.
When I met her, she revealed to me that her name reminded her of her "mother" who'd abused her, so we shortened it to Angie. A few months later, when the adoption was finalized, we lengthened it to Angelica "Angie" Kira Spears.
Angie embraced those name changes, because they were clearly signifying change for the better. She's been a little more hesitant this time. She's learned to spell Spears, she's fallen in love with my parents, the Bulos, she can finally sign her name in less than three minutes.
So, in preparation for the transition I've been writing Spears Charles for both of us, gently easing her into it. In Florida, over Thanksgiving, she was drawing and wrote a big fancy bubble letter "Angie SC." I asked her what the SC was for, "Spears Charles," she replied. "But do you know what else starts with SC?" I prompted. "Where are you from?" Again, her face lit up with recognition: Santa Cruz. Her hometown in Bolivia, where we lived together and she spent most of her childhood, holds the same initials as her new last names. She can move on, but she doesn't have to forget the past.
Yesterday, we had a hearing for Jon's adoption of Angie. Of course, he was approved, who could doubt all he has to offer this little vulnerable life.
If you run into Ange, we welcome your help in embracing her new apellido--last name. Switching to Spears symbolized Angie's transition into a forever family, her adoption of a mother, and a promising future. The change to Charles only bears more hope. Hope that a father brings for a stable home. A covenant marriage to lean into and learn to trust that even though there will always be change, there are some things you can rely on to remain true.
Angie, you have been an example to all of us that God is trustworthy, and He answers the prayers of a tiny child, abandoned by the rest of the world, but never far from her Heavenly Father's plan; to give her a family.
"Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families." -Psalm 68:5-6
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