Friday, October 6, 2017

Every Day Should Be His Birthday

I love celebrating other people. Last spring, between April and June I had my hand in throwing 6 birthday parties, all involving at least some component of surprise. I was in my element!
Throwing Angie's Quinceanera was the pinnacle of them all!
September was my hubby's birthday month and you know what I noticed? I'm especially fond of him around his birthday. Yep, you heard me right. It's not being celebrated that makes me feel good, it's celebrating others. Am I the only one?

I can think of two reasons for this:

1) It's all about expectations. 


  • In September, it's super easy for me to make breakfast while wrangling the kiddos and let Jon sleep in a couple hours. It's his special month after all! 
Whereas in, say April, my mind would be spinning with unpleasant thoughts about equality of sleep and household chores.

  • Expecting him home a little later from work that week is fine, as I know friends are treating him to lunch, extending his hours downtown.
Any other weeknight, I'm counting down the minutes till he arrives to hold the fussy baby, do homework with the teenager, or get the toddler out from under my feet so I can get dinner on the table for pete's sake!

  • That Sunday afternoon, I almost enjoyed sending him up for a 2-3 hour nap, while I entertained the young'uns, fetched some groceries, and prepared some of his favorite foods.
But for instance on Mother's Day, I was silently seething about everyone getting a nap, but me. And most any other Sunday, if people expect me to cook, they're in for a disappointing--and hungry--evening. (You may remember that Mother's Day expectations have gotten me in trouble before.)

  • Cleaning the house is even enjoyable when it's for the purpose of spoiling your special someone.
Cleaning the house is not awesome other times, that goes without saying.

  • Thinking about all my man's favorite foods, treats, hobbies, and friends (such as planning to go camping with his best friend and going out to a restaurant full of wild game) is natural and easy around his special day. 
But come March and my birthday, some dark little voice seeps into my head asking me why people haven't picked up the nuanced hints I've dropped, or been thinking solely of me for days on end.

It would be beautiful, and Biblical, if I could always put others' desires, sleep, schedules, and needs ahead of my own. These expectations and self, are hard to let go of, but I appreciate the glimpses of selflessness that holidays bring. Now, to celebrate others every day instead of just when the calendar reminds me to.

Because,

2) We were created to love and serve others.
Glad I have genuinely generous people like Mom to celebrate sometimes,
and point me toward Christ-like selflessness all the time.

"If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand." -Philippians 2:3-4 (MSG)

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