Germs

Angie got the flu.  She's never been sick in the two years she's been with me, but this new cold, dry winter combined with all the bugs she's never been exposed to in her petri dish of a classroom got the better of her, and from what her teacher tells me, much of her class.  She's not been enjoying fifth grade in the U.S. much.  When she skipped a semester of 3rd grade the teacher told us what she had taught and we worked hard for three weeks to catch her up. In December, we moved to the States in the middle of her 4th grade year, and they said, "She's ten, she belongs in the 5th grade." So, she missed two semester's worth of material and this time she's feeling it.  

All this to say, when she said her head hurt and she was dizzy on Friday morning, I wasn't at all sure it wasn't just an attempt to lounge on the couch and watch TV. I wasn't sure that is, until Jon got home from work and told me we had a thermometer, which we promptly used to find out she had a fever of 102.7°. She's very sensitive in general, and I tend to believe she's overreacting about most ailments, but a temperature of + or - 103 for 4 days, is hard to call "crying wolf."

So, she didn't leave the house for five days, except to go to the doctor to get tested positive for the flu and an ear infection. You other moms with sick kiddos always seem to be raving about how sweet and cuddly your munchkins are when they're sick, but aren't you worried about them sharing their germs if they're all snuggly?  What we enjoyed more was her docile compliance.  Who is this child and how can we keep her? I felt like the pet-owners who more often than not ask if we can give them something to maintain their puppy's sedated state after surgery, "She's so calm," they say, "it's nice..."

I learned that the nursing side of mothering is one of the few that comes kind of naturally to me. I woke up in the middle of the night to check on her, medicate her, humidify her room, and wet the washcloth for her forehead. The first days, I had to rack my brain for ideas of how to comfort her when she was even too sick to watch TV, and I remembered in The Princess Bride when Colombo reads to Fred Savage. So between Jon, my mom and I, we read hours and hours of Little Women. Yesterday, my dad came over and tutored her on adding fractions for a heroic six hours.  And finally she is "well."

Last night, she looked up as she hugged me goodnight and said, 

"Thank you." 

"For what?" I asked.  

"For everything while I was sick." 

I tried to remember her sweet and sincere gratitude in that moment, when the time came to drag her out of bed this morning to return to school, and she was back to her old, very strong-willed, self. Maybe if we could just find a way to maintain her temperature at ~101°, a perfect balance between feisty and subdued......

An Accidental Funeral

I went to a funeral this week, kind of by accident. My mom and I arrived at the visitation as everyone was heading into the service, so I just figured it was easier to stay. You know how some people vomit when they see others vomit, and everyone yawns when someone else yawns? Turns out it happens with crying too. I’d never met this person, but I found myself pulling tissues out of my purse with the best of them. The funeral was for a daughter of a friend, a tortured young soul of 22 who had overdosed after struggling with drugs for some time. During the really thoughtful and beautiful ceremony I wondered how difficult it must be to put together a message for the funeral of someone who’s not a Christian...

“If you died tomorrow...” You’ve all heard the subsequent question, “where would you go?” But I thought of the alternate ending, “If you die tomorrow, where have you been? What have you done?” Are we doing what we would be doing if the end were near?  Are we spending ourselves on things of value?

"Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God." -Ephesians 4:1 (NLT)

Are we living worthy of the call?

The pastor closed with a touching challenge, that went something like this;  

We have all made mistakes, we’ve all been confused. And now, it would be a terrible mistake on our parts to remember this girl by a bad choice she made or a time she was confused, instead of the life she lived and the person she was.

"A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them, they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship." -Rainer Maria Rilke

"I've never met anyone that was all bad. Mostly bad, yes, but never all bad. Everyone once was a child, and that gives me hope for people. They just end up bringing to the table what they have and they do what they do for a reason, even if they don't know themselves what it is. Takes time to find it sometimes, but there is always a reason." -Crossroads, by WM. Paul Young.

All of this is a gentle reminder to me, and maybe you, to see the sweet child God created in each person we come across, even though sometimes that child is deeply hidden, and to live each moment with a purpose.

I Think I'll Let Him

This time last year, I was in Bolivia watching my Cards lose to their arch rival Cats and being consoled by my soon-to-be UK-fan fiancé. Oh what a difference a year makes.  This time I consoled my Wildcat husband in the comforts of our own den in Kentucky by the fireplace as the Cardinals took back the Bluegrass basketball title.  This year, instead of passing the holidays in the blistering heat with friends and the kids from the children's homes in Santa Cruz, we celebrated with family and snow and all the traditions I grew up with.  Both were beautiful ways to honor Christ's birth, but the UL win is always preferable.

We were visited and we were visitors.  We introduced Angie to The Grinch and snow and the 12 Days of Christmas. We exchanged gifts, hugs, baked goods and stories. And we cherished every moment of a week with at least double the family any of us had last year.

After feasting, gaming, vegging, and sledding with the Charleses, Spearses, Scotts, and assorted friends, Jon and I made the snowy drive home from Iowa alone as my parents kept Angie one more day to sled and swim with everyone in Ottumwa. 

I'm not a big goal-setter. I don't like to tell God what I'm going to do with my time or my money, I usually just wait for Him to make suggestions.  But with eight hours alone in the car together, the most peaceful, uninterrupted eight we've had since the honeymoon, Jon and I made some plans. We planned our giving, our saving, and our spending for 2013.  We chose a Bible reading plan for the year.  We worked out our ideas for our new young married couples' small group. We talked about what 2014 and beyond might look like. And we were very content.

We may have made some plans and set some goals, but we know that we can't make any of it happen on our own. We can't have peace and harmony in our home by our own efforts. We can't finalize the adoption alone. I can't be the wife and mother I'd like to be. But we know who to look to for help. Yesterday at church I heard the motto I think I'll use for 2013:

I can't.

He can.

I think I'll let Him.

Who are you going to let lead you in the New Year? 

Growing Pains of Grief

"Our grief is as individual as our lives." - David Kessler

I hope not to trivialize what others feel at the loss of a loved one, by calling Angie's felt loss of her home-country "grief," but in many ways it seems very similar. I recognized it as such when she raced through the classic stages in less than an hour after touching down in the Atlanta airport a week ago, and I realized her emotional roller-coaster over the past few months may have been just a larger scale version. 

The day we moved from Bolivia, for the second time in six months, she was calm, more than one could say for her mom as we rushed around airports and missed a flight, but contemplative; as she'd been for the week since Jon left us to return to work in Kentucky. Was this denial of the impending move, or acceptance? Her still-unresolved jealousy of Jon surfaced a bit as I called him while taxiing on runways in both Miami and Atlanta, but it wasn't until we got off the plane that she started to get sassy with me, and when Jon jumped out and wrapped her in his surprise hug she was having none of it. The snide remarks intermixed with the silent treatment went on until she broke down in tears in the car. 

Her bedtime had come and gone by this point and I was sure the night was only going to spiral more out of control, but Jon had enough optimism to try to order a pizza. He guessed it, as quickly as her mood shifted from peaceful to turbulent, she pulled herself together. By the time we arrived at Grandma's house she was upbeat and almost playful, possibly the quickest and most complete recovery we've ever seen.  

And since that moment she's been...pleasant, a word that seems so simple to most of you parents, but one we haven't been able to use for a long long time. She has not given up bargaining completely, "Mommy, if it's not gonna snow, we can go back to Bolivia, right?" And the necessary shopping sprees to outfit her for winter and her new school haven't hurt in keeping her spirits high in the midst of this huge change. Not to mention the lifesaving aid of our parents spoiling her rotten at every turn. But now I'm sharing Jon's optimism and hoping she's accepting our new surroundings, letting go of her "home" in Bolivia and embracing the one we're creating here.

Tomorrow is Angie's first day at her new school. She's not thrilled about the idea, but she's handling it maturely, and I'm proud of her...and I think I'll tell her that in the morning when she wakes up. We're both growing here, and some days I'm not sure who's more affected by the growing pains.  Good thing we have Ruby, Jon, and Jesus to keep us centered.

The Second Last Everything (But Not Penultimate)

This week we're packing up, moving out, visiting with everyone, and saying goodbye for the last time, again. I taught my final English classes, we were prayed for by our church, I finished up my training surgeries, tonight we meet with our young couples' home group one last time, and Friday we conclude our university Alpha Course series. Six months ago, we wrapped up everything here in Bolivia, and as God would have it, here we are doing it all for the second last time.

So many people and places are dear to us, it's impossible to say which will be most difficult to let go of. We will continue to treasure the Baby Home where Jon's been volunteering his handiness and we've been sponsoring a new little one also named Johnny Charles (above in Angie's arms). We'll keep praying for each of those precious little ones. If you're also interested in sponsoring one of their seven sweethearts, please let me know.

My vet school students and colleagues will be dearly missed. My role with them has changed this semester, as I've added "wife" to the list of hats I wear, but our friendship hasn't suffered. I love these girls and am so excited to see them moving toward Jesus as He runs toward them.

Angie's struggling with all the change. You've probably noticed the lack of posts about her and pictures of her gorgeous smile here and on Facebook. Please pray with us that she'll enjoy the cooler weather of winter in the States, have fun with her dog, grandparents and cousins, and make friends soon in her new school.  She so needs love and stability, and God's only allowed us to give her one of those two key ingredients this past year.

 Jon left Bolivia last Saturday, to get back to work and get everything ready for our return, except the tree, he's not allowed to decorate for Christmas without us!  Pray for his transition back into work, and re-entry culture shock as he decompresses from his three-month stent with us in South America.

People often ask if we're excited to be heading back. I don't really know. I am so looking forward to cold, snow, family, U.S. friends, Ruby, and my new job as CVM's Southeastern regional rep. But to say we're "excited" seems to imply some discontent here, and even with the constant sweating, I'd say we're pretty well content right where we are. Not a bad place to be really, happy where you are, and happy with where you're going. God's been so good to us.

A Huge Week for VetRed

We make quite a few airport runs around here, but two Saturdays ago was an extra special day for flying with VetRed.  At 5am I took Dr. Moira Martinez to the airport for her very first trip out of the country.  You may have read about Dr. Shawn Kari's three visits from California down to Santa Cruz over the past few years to train the university, and specifically Moira, in ultrasound.  His impact on her life, and subsequently imaging in the country, has been transformative, so why stop with Bolivia! Last week, Shawn and Moira met in Managua to teach ultrasound technique to students and veterinarians from around Nicaragua.  Dr. Jeff Bracht is a CVM veterinarian living there with his family and developing a university ministry similar to the one we have here in Santa Cruz.  Shawn and Moira's visit supported his efforts and reinforced his sharing of Christ's love through veterinary medicine.  This training of trainers to multiply into their own communities is exactly what we have in mind when we facilitate visits from North American specialists to Latin American schools.  Moira has no culture or language barriers when she teaches about ultrasound, or about God's Word, as we pray she'll want to do in the future.

I would have loved to join Moira on her trip, to calm her nerves and build our friendship, to witness Jeff and Bethany's ministry in Nicaragua, to see Moira experience the beach for the first time...  But when it rains it pours, so as Moira, Shawn, and Jeff were representing VetRed and CVM in Nicaragua, Brett Terhaar and Warren Waybright joined me in Bolivia to do the same.  Shortly after her family and I prayed with Moira for her send off, Brett and Warren arrived at the airport just as ready to share God's love through veterinary medicine.

The three of us visited Trinidad, Bolivia for four days to strengthen our relationship with the vet school there and lay some ground work for Dr. Coalson Lacey, the CVM vet who plans to live and work there starting in 2013.  The reception from Dean Francis, the faculty, staff, and students was wonderful!  Brett and Warren were rockstars as hundreds of students swarmed to see their first bovine c-sections and breeding soundness exams. 

We lectured on a variety of topics, demonstrated surgeries and procedures, and fielded questions.  We participated in the inauguration of the vet school's new building.  We worked on a convenio (agreement between CVM and Trinidad's university.)  We visited FexpoBeni, the province's annual fair, and oohed an awed at cattle, horses, and bugs nearly as big as both.  And we still found time to enjoy the really friendly people and the really yummy fried alligator.

At the end of our time, we got the contact information for those interested in a campus ministry, to pave the way for Coalson. Then Brett, Warren and I headed back to Santa Cruz where I showed them the chicken coop, Warren trained at the vet school here, and they participated in our Campus Alpha Bible study, where the Santa Cruz students and I started to pray for the students in Trinidad.  

That's what we're all about; exchanging ideas, sharing what God's blessed us with, multiplying trainers, and growing together.

At the end of our time in Trinidad they told us they'll be purchasing an ultrasound machine soon, you can probably guess who we recommended train them on using it....

I love my job!

Thank the Lord for Beer Cans on the Side of the Road!

Friday, was All Saint's Day here, so we took advantage of the three day weekend to join our friend Adreana and 40-some kiddos in Postrervalle, a town about six hours from Santa Cruz with two Nacer Ministries children's homes.

We toured their gardens, chicken coop, pig pen, duck ponds, and house.  They climbed on us, tugged on us, hugged on us, and practiced their English on us.  It was a blast!  Armed with nothing but a few dozen chocolate chip cookies and nearly as many board games we made friends with the sweet sweet kids, while Adreana worked on the home's sponsorship program.

We tried to imagine living in such a tiny remote town when we visited the shower-less, kitchen-less little house a missionary couple is about to move into to work with the homes. The cooler weather, near absence of sand and mosquitoes, and gorgeous mountains give Santa Cruz a run for its money even with its proximity to most everything and relative luxuries like grocery stores.

Of course, saying goodbye to all those adorably dirty faces was hard after their gracious hospitality and warm welcome. 

But the real reason leaving them was so hard, was that the LandRover's steering went out completely on the side of a cliff about 10 kilometers outside of town. On a Sunday morning, ~6 hours away from the nearest tow truck, with a baby in the car and no shade in sight, we lathered up on sunscreen and started to pray.  Between prayers, we made some phone calls, both requesting more prayer and investigating the local mechanic/tow truck situation.  In a town where everyone drives motorcycles, if they drive at all, it was a miracle that we were able to get a mechanic to come out to us and give us a hand. That was the second miracle of the day, the first being that we hadn't driven off the mountain when Jon lost control of the wheel.  And the third, when the mechanic used a steak knife and a beer can we found littered on the side of the road to temporarily repair the steering column linkage-thingy.  

Never have I felt any fondness for roadside litter until that moment, but the whole drive home we sited every beer can and thanked the helpful citizens throwing them out their windows.  Miracle number four was when we arrived home from those curvy mountainous roads safely!  Thank you for your prayers, sometimes you might not know how to pray specifically, but God loves to hear from you, and it might just direct His hand to hold that beer can patch in place till we can get the real linkage-thingy installed.