First World Problems

When the term "first world problems" became popular I was not in the first world. I was watching on Facebook as people made fun of themselves for being so pampered, while I sweated and scratched at my mosquito bites in hot and sandy Santa Cruz.  I'll admit, I kinda thought you guys were ridiculous, but that's really the point, so did you. I mean seriously, the dude who said this must have known how good he had it, right?

"My car key remote battery died and now I have to put the key in the door and open it like some barbaric caveman."

But today, I sit in my climate-controlled house, albeit only ~60℉ controlled, but it's mosquito-free, and we have blankets and a fireplace.  And now I'm right there with you.  

My first recognition of my own "first world problem" was while Angie and I baked cake pops for her school Valentine's Day party. The kit with the molds and the instructions only came with 20 little plastic sticks, so I had to go to Michael's to pick up some more.  My frustration level that Michael's only had lollypop sticks and not cake pop sticks was the first sign I had a problem, and the problem was with my expectations not my surroundings.

Then there's the ongoing dilemma of whether I need to get dressed to get the mail and take out the garbage, or can I just walk around the yard in my bathrobe. #Workingfromhomeproblem

But the "first world problem" that put me over the edge struck the other day at the mall. I do not go to the mall willingly. Possibly because it's the most "first-world" place you can find, and I'm not quite comfortable with that anymore. Jon goes to shop for presents; Christmas presents, Valentine's presents, etc. I go if someone invites me to lunch in the food court, or if I have to return something, that's about it.  Tuesday, I had to return something; Angie wanted to exchange her Valentine's present Crocs for another color, and I was her chauffeur. 

I'm not a big fan of shopping, but I am a big fan of sales and free stuff, come on who's not?! And, since living in this country where I'm bombarded by beauty whether via magazine covers at the grocery store or the rare occasion when we turn on the television, I've been struggling to accept this aging thing that starts taking its toll in the 30s. So, this is what I left Dillard's with...

Guess how many of those things I bought...2. Yep, just the 2 little boxes in the middle cost me enough to earn all the freebies surrounding them. And somehow when I was checking out I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. The feeling didn't ease later when I told Jon about how I went over our spending limit, on makeup. He was the sweetest thing ever as I divulged all my insecurities about getting older, and he didn't even scold me for being frivolous. 

Maybe because he was so accepting of me, I had the strength to take most of it back yesterday. I realized I'd basically bought crack from the Estee Lauder counter. The first time the "amazing eye creme" comes with all this free stuff, but then you're hooked and you have to spend about a paycheck every year on looking like you're still 29. 

Last night, as our church celebrated the "gods at war" release, I was so relieved I'd come to my senses. For awhile, I couldn't figure out what my personal idol was. I'm not obsessed with my career, success, money, fame, food, or possessions... But when Kyle's questioning landed on "the opinions of others", I became a little sensitive. When he mentioned feeling disrespected, I recognized what a hot button that is in our house with our budding tween and her eye-rolling attitude. I thought of how I'm still relishing the praise from the success of our Real Life Real Impact weekend earlier in the month. And I remembered the breakdown of the night before about fading beauty. 

I'm not sure what the solution is. I don't know how to raise our child to honor her parents, improve in my role with CVM, or try to stay attractive to my husband, without worrying about what others think. But I do know, that I really only have an audience of One, and for today, that's who I'll focus on...

"Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen." -1 Peter 4:11 NLT