While the Cat's Away...

For the past 10 days Jon's enjoyed views like the one below as he toured Croatia and Luxemborg with his UL MBA program, so I don't feel as bad about comparing him to his least favorite animal, a cat.

I thought about inviting some girlfriends over after the kids were in bed and taking advantage of some bachelorette time while he was away, but instead of playing, as the traditional mice in the idiom are prone to do, I decided to DIY around the house.

Acts of Service are high on both Jon and my lists of love language, surprises being my favorite kind! And you see, marriage is hard, folks. I know I'm not telling you anything new here, I was the last one to find out. But for the first three years it was kind of a breeze for me. Then a number of things started adding up, and I got a bit down for a few months. A baby who refuses a bottle or sippy cup and doesn't sleep for more than a couple hours ever, starts to take its toll on your marriage after more than a year. Throw in a husband with a rigorous work and night school schedule, a traveling wife, and a full-fledged teenager, and you have a recipe for some marital stress. Not to mention I'm still nursing like a Holstein dairy cow, so I'm sure hormones don't help me overlook the little things, which is about 90% of what's required for a successful partnership.

It looks like Zy knew we were at the airport to say a sad goodbye to Daddy.

I was already on the way out of my funk when Jon took off for Europe, but I'd had the idea to rehab our awful 1979 vanity for awhile (we can't find anything the right dimensions, so we'd have to have something custom made), in the meantime a little facelift would hold us over for now.

The 1979-2016 eye-sore version.

The scrubbed, painted, re-hardwired 2016 and beyond model. Jon would have been really impressed if I'd updated the countertop and oh-so-dated clamshell sink, but that was way out of my paygrade.

The vanity enhancement only took the first weekend, so then I just got on a roll. I started cleaning all the things that I know drive Jon a bit crazy, the mulberries on the driveway, the mildew on the shower curtain, the clutter in our closet, the fingerprints on the pantry doors, the disarray in the basement (well that one was probably more for my own sake.)

And I didn't stop at cleaning. I used some simple tools to lower the baby's crib mattress. Then I got a little carried away with tools that were beyond my skill level.

Uncle Byron helped me Isaiah-proof some kitchen cabinets.

Angie helped me spruce up the dining room with a yard sale find.

Teolinda helped me make some new kitchen curtains.

And everyone pitched in to host a Love Where You Are neighborhood cookout (not exactly a project, but way fun!)

I tried to teach the baby some sign language to surprise Jon with peaceful mealtimes, instead of his grunts and fusses for unidentified objects. But as Isaiah's using about 15 worlds regularly, it looks like he's going to start communicating verbally before he figures out any motions. When I repeat the sign for more and the word "more," he responds with the word not the gesture.

However, likely the endeavor of the week that Jon is most grateful for and will lead to the most marital bliss, was the work Isaiah and I did on sleeping. While Jon (and a couple of nights Angie) were away, I have finally weaned our 15 month-old from night feedings, and in the process, taught him to go to sleep in his crib instead of my arms. We're not out of the woods by any means, but this morning instead of my usual groan in response to hearing Zy's cries over the monitor throughout the night, I squealed with joy "Yay, he's up, we can go play with him!" at 7:30am, when he started to stir in his room. That's right folks, he slept through the night!!  Now, maybe we can fantasize about going away together next time, dare we dream of a whole weekend getaway?

The funny thing is, you would think each little random act would have made Jon feel loved, but I'm not even sure he'll notice most of them. On the other hand, every time I was doing something with him in mind, from squeezing the toothpaste tube at the bottom, to hosing the bird poop off his car, I grew more enamored with him. My commitment and love for him isn't based on how I feel at any given moment, or even month, but our relationship sure is a lot more satisfying and fun when I'm into it. Now, when I get down on us, I just have to remember that instead of waiting for Jon to do something special to perk me up, I can serve my way back into being sweet on him. Hopefully, next time I won't wait till he leaves the country for an excuse to put his interests above my own. (Philippians 2...)