Weaning for Dummies

I sure hope no one was confused by the title and came here looking for a weaning tutorial. On the contrary, I was hoping you all could give me some tips. I've often asked why is there so much written on breastfeeding and so little said about weaning? For me, nursing is pretty straightforward and natural, but weaning is not so simple. I say that, but in all honesty, nursing Paul was a real struggle. I fought hard to make it to 6 months. Then, I thought it would be a miracle if we made it to a year. I never imagined we'd make it to 19 months!!

At less than 1 month-old, Paul developed reflux and by 3 months it was like my milk was burning a hole in him as soon as it touched his esophagus, he would writhe and scream. He hated nursing and when we gave in and did a trial with hypoallergenic formula, he was initially appalled by the taste, but then so relieved that it didn't hurt him. It would have been easy to switch to formula at that point for his comfort and my convenience, but I do not for one second take for granted the health and relational benefits my boys and I enjoy through breastfeeding, so I stubbornly persevered. I'm sure the expense of hypoallergenic formula encouraged me to stay the course as well. :)

In his first 7 months, I tried giving up dairy in combination with many other things. It wasn't until our beloved allergist diagnosed him with both milk AND egg allergies that we were able to make nursing a success for us both, although it meant giving up all dairy and eggs indefinitely. 

I think Paulie recognized how hard we fought to make BFing work too, and having earned it he didn't underappreciate it either. Loving cheese, butter, ice cream, frosting, baked goods, and all things creamy, I tried to start weaning him at a year, but he was reluctant. 6 months later I was still trying to cut him off. Like most mamas, our last nursing session to go was the one at bedtime. When I tried redirecting him to soy milk, he would scream like I was hurting his feelings as much as my dairy-filled milk had originally hurt his GI tract. Because I valued the beauty of our nursing relationship so much, I decided not to let it end on such an ugly note, even if it meant I'd have to go to college with him. 

I set the goal to wean him before my trip to the University of Florida last week, as it would be my first overnight away from Paul. With the side benefit that it was just before Jon's birthday, because weaning Paul meant I could enjoy dinner out with Jon for his birthday without having to scrutinize a menu for traces of butter or cheese. 

With the help of others putting him down whenever they were available to for naps and bedtime, we finally weaned, but I wasn't nearly as eager to get back to dairy as I, or others, expected. It took me a couple days to realize it, but I feel a bit like I'm betraying Paul as the only dairy and egg-free person in our family now. We were a team, and now he is alone in his plight. I still choose PB&J or other safe foods often so I can share with him when he climbs in my lap halfway through every meal. But that doesn't mean I haven't splurged.

There have been 2 extended periods in my life where I've gone without Papa John's pizza: when I lived in Bolivia and this past year+ for Paul. They were both worthy causes, and they were both joyous reunions!

If anyone is considering a restricted diet for breastfeeding purposes, You can do it! I didn't think I could either, but these precious little ones are worth it. Wanna know my secret to success: Private Selection's Raspberry Sorbet. Even if you're not dairy-free it may change your life like it did mine.

As far as weaning goes, I have no advice. I've heard so many people tell me that their kids just decided they didn't want to nurse anymore at 9, 12, or 15 months. Not so for us. That would have been easier, but what would really be ideal would be if baby and mama could just agree on a physical and emotional timeline and work together from there. 

Jon says these are my crazy eyes. Yeah, crazy for long-lost ice cream!

If you're wondering if this sweet boy will always be the odd one out in our family, we hope and pray not. Next month, we meet with our allergist again, and we hope he'll be outgrowing this and joining us in our dietary freedom soon. In the meantime, he's surviving on raspberry sorbet and all the hugs and kisses he can squeeze out of us.

As always, these trials have only given us more compassion for others in their allergy and breastfeeding journeys. Thank you, Lord, for helping us understand how others live.