Vets Doing a Little Life Together

What do you get when you put four veterinarians, their spouses, and kiddos together in one place? A great meal, lots of laughs, and conversation that ranges from breeding horses to selling all your possessions to move overseas and serve the poor. Last Saturday, we had some of my favorite people over to catch up on where God's leading our families in His journey for His glory, and after five hours I kinda wished we had cushions for our dining room chairs, as the conversation was so captivating that people barely got up to refill their drinks. Officially, we'd be called a Local Ministry Group, unofficially we're just vets with a lot in common; a love for Christ and a passion to share Him with the world. 

More than ten years ago, one of these couples lead my community group in vet school, and mentored me more than they'll ever know. Another of these vets heard I was coming home from Bolivia last summer and looked me up. All of them made it to Christian Veterinary Mission's Shortcourse last August in Kansas City to learn more about longterm missions. And now we're all back within an hour from Louisville getting together every couple months to encourage each other and share.

If all of them follow God's tugging on their hearts to move to Africa as veterinary missionaries, it will leave some empty chairs at our dinner table, but I'll be thankful for the challenge to fill those seats with new faces, because it will mean the Gospel's being taken to places like Kenya, Zambia, South Sudan, or maybe, if we can convince one of them that having the coldest capital city in the world isn't all bad; Mongolia.

The Psuedo-Candid Version

I've said it before, but I'll say it again, I love my job! I'm so blessed to get to do ministry like this.

If you're a vet interested in the Local Ministry Group idea, let me know, we're starting them all over the U.S. Yours doesn't have to be full of families on the verge of moving across the world, ours just happens to be. All veterinarians have stories to share that would encourage others as you use your profession as ministry wherever God has you.

Unrequited Love

From my last few posts it might seem like the Charles family should be auditioning for "Leave it To Beaver," but that's only because I refrained from blogging the week between all these good weeks where we had five tantrums, like Angie was going for her personal best or the Guinness record. The truth is, we have plenty of ups and downs around here just like all of you. But a couple things have indicated a trend for us toward more ups than downs.

Angie's almost paralyzed with fear by the thought of going somewhere she doesn't know anyone, or at least she was...  A couple week ago I dropped her off at the FCA Superstars event alone on the bleachers of a gym surrounded by strangers, I returned in a couple hours to find her in almost the same seat, but by her side was one of the strangers she'd converted into a new friend. 

Last Friday, we took her to Southeast Christian Church's 5th grade lock-in. Motivated by the chance to stay up ALL NIGHT, the rock climbing wall, a midnight concert, and did I mention no bedtime, she signed up to dive into the unknown, an adventure for anyone, but an often terrifying one for Ange. Again, we left her alone at the welcome dance party, and found her in the morning with a new friend, and the residual effects of the longterm brain freeze from the four bowls of ice cream she'd consumed.

But of course, Ruby was there to comfort her and help her catch some zzzs in the car.

The lock-in was a huge step for her confidence in new situations with new people, but also for her transition to 6th grade. In a brilliant move on Southeast's part, they loaded the soon-to-be-sixth-graders up on caffeine, pizza, sugar, and laser tag in the building where they'll be heading in a couple short months for the scary jump to middle school. It'd be nearly impossible for any kid to have a negative association with The Block, their new building, after all that partying!

As you can imagine, the day after was an unpredictable series of errands, stories, efforts to fight the drowsiness, cat naps, and the inevitable crankiness. Unfortunately, the bad mood didn't hit until the most inopportune time as we began to celebrate my aunt Jeanie's birthday. Jeanie is also her 5th grade Sunday school teacher, hence she knows as well as anyone how important it is that Angie start bridging the gap to 6th grade, as having Jeanie for her teacher in 5th grade has been the only way we've gotten her to attend class at all. So when Angie started acting up at Jeanie's party out of exhaustion, Jeanie* said in all sincerity, "It's okay, the lock-in was way more important than my birthday." It's support like this that's brought us so far.

I remember learning about various positive and negative feedback mechanisms in biology and physiology, but you don't hear about them much in behavior. Like clockwork, when Angie's insecure or out of sorts, she gets snappy and defiant, then I become harsh or impatient. And we both get hurt and closed off. Our responses to each other get shorter, our love tanks drain, I end up hoping we can make it to bedtime without too many wounding words and start over in the morning. This is the feedback cycle we've been living in for more than two years.

Since she's started to overcome her fears, her attitude's improved, and her behavior has followed suit. The peace that's come from having a more compliant child has affected us all. Our tones are softer, our words sweeter, our time together less strained. When she isn't a raging ball of eye-rolling sassiness, she's approachable, she's lovable. We spend hours together enjoying each other. And the time shared, the kind words, the unforced hugs fill her love tank and feed back into the positive cycle of joy in her life and in our home. I wish I could have given this love more freely when it was so much harder to give, when the cost was so much higher, when she was fighting me tooth and nail. If only I could have followed God's example and loved her better when she was less deserving, when love was a choice not a feeling, when it would have turned the cycle around. But I was not strong enough, I was not good enough. And now I pray that when the next storms come I'll remember this lesson that I should have learned from Christ, but had to learn for myself, that unrequited love is the only kind worth anything, and the kind that can change the world for the better.

*Actually Jeanie's husband Byron said it and Jeanie wholeheartedly agreed.

You Are Mighty Because You Mother

All the things I had to say about Mother's Day pale in comparison to what this video says. I think I'll watch it every morning, before I put on any mascara of course.

Mighty from Journey Box Media on Vimeo

Kinda Makes It All Worth It

Angie graduates from 5th grade next month and she may be the only kid at the ceremony without a baby picture in the slideshow. These are the kind of things adopted kiddos miss out on. But sometimes we make up for it by celebrating random days that other children don't have, like the day I brought her home from the orphanage, Talita Cumi, or the day six months later when we had the audience with the judge and the adoption became final. Yesterday, was our second anniversary of our "Adoption Day" and we celebrated with a family favorite--Papa John's pizza, we even splurged for cheese sticks! 

Many of you remember Angie's terror at coming to live in the U.S. and how she acted out for more than six months at the thought of this change. Yesterday, on the way to pick up the pizza she said in perfect Spanglish, "I'm used to living in the United States now." I smiled and replied, "You should've trusted us, huh?" To which she answered with a sheepish grin, "Yeah, I'm sorry."

Later, after we prayed for the pizza and for our little family on this special day she said, "Mommy, thank you for adopting me." ...cue heart melts...

We may not have photos from her infancy, but here are a couple you probably haven't seen of the first day we met her, December 24th, 2009, her third day in Talita Cumi. Sorry, they're a little out of focus, we didn't know she was going to change our lives forever, at first sight. 

What a difference a few years, a lot of food, and a lot of love makes.

Thank you each who have helped us love her for these three and a half years. We'll be needing your help for the next many decades as well.

So Proud of These Two

Pride has such negative connotation, and with good reason. A quick search will tell you that in the Bible it accompanies jealousy, deceit, corruption, destruction, and many other vices. But that same word-study would also lead you to Paul's frequent positive use of being "proud" in reference to others. It seems like pride in one's self goes just a step before a fall, but pride in others is more akin to respect. And that's what I mean when I say that I'm so proud of Jon and Angie.

I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd marry someone so handy. Honestly, I didn't even know such ingenious men existed. Pretty much weekly, Jon dives into a project the likes of which he's never done before. And even though I'm much cheaper than he is, these are all projects I'd gladly pay someone to do, but am so grateful we don't have to. A couple weeks ago he spent an entire Saturday, which was previously booked solid with activities and errands, changing the starter in one of our cars. Next, after various professionals failed to come up with a good approach for repairing the wall between our living room and family room, Jon decided to cut a hole in the hardwood floor, he'd laid himself, to solve the air return problem. And then, when he learned there was no pre-fab duct work to connect to the hole he'd made, he brought home sheet metal and we built our own from scratch.

He changes the oil in the cars, he replaces the heating element in the water heater, he switches out the plumbing in the shower, he drywalls, he amazes me regularly. And as much as I try to hurry him along with the "good enough" motto I perfected in Bolivia, he still never cuts corners. If it were up to me, our list of home repairs might get checked off a little more quickly, but we'd surely have to repair all the same things again within a month or two, as I'd leave all sorts of important loose ends untied. I'm so glad the Lord didn't give me someone like myself to partner with, but someone who complements me so much better.

Also inspiring awe, Angie is taking big kid steps way out of her comfort zone. As most of you know, "Louisville is the only place that cancels school so kids can learn to gamble, smoke cigars, and drink mint juleps," for Oaks Day, the Friday before the KY Derby. But instead of dropping her off to enjoy the infield at Churchill Downs, Fellowship of Christian Athletes gave me the alternative to leave her with them for the morning for a Superstar Athlete competition. Even though she didn't know a sole in attendance she stayed and played like a champ. And because she'll so quickly tell you that I've never missed a sporting event, or birthday, of hers, I snuck back early to join her for the award ceremony.

Each child participated in six events, and I think with the commotion and minor language barrier Angie may have been at a slight disadvantage understanding some instructions. But when it came to one sport, you didn't have to tell her twice what to do. She's ridiculously fast, and natural at a lot of sports, but tennis isn't one of those talents you can really be born with, you either work your tail off or you lose. And for that reason, I was more proud of Angie for winning first place in the Tennis Serves Accuracy competition than any race in the world, because it showed she'd worked hard at something that didn't come easily to her, a big accomplishment for someone who's usually quite content to rest on her innate athletic prowess.  

Now back to keeping these two well fed and encouraged, so they can finish the dry wall and secure that college scholarship...

Angie - Improving by Leaps and Bounds

Angie had her first perfect week since coming to the States in December! By perfect I don't mean it was devoid of eye-rolling or grumbling, let's be realistic. It was, however, free of tantrums, screaming, crying, wreckage, and injuries. Woohoo! Of course, there was this pair of new shoes, that she just had to have for picture day, on the horizon if she stayed positive all week. I'm glad no one let on just how unlikely those shoes are to make an appearance in her school photos. But more than just a demonstration of what Angie can do when motivated by shoes (am I the only woman in the world who cannot identify with this?), I think it's becoming safer to say we're really making some progress.

There are so many factors contributing to our improvement, it's hard to credit just one. Prayer has been huge, thank you all for helping us with these transitions by lifting us up. After nearly five months in one place, with no major family upheaval, there's finally some stability. Routine, structure, and downtime are keys to peace in Angie's life. School's getting easier as she learns the system and her English is coming along. She still has a way to go, but I think, little by little, she's starting to trust that the whole world, including Jon and myself, is not out to get her. And likely, one of the most important ingredients in this recipe for recent success, has been that Angie has a playmate.

Even coming home from school's better with a friend!

Her friend, our next door neighbor Jada, has become almost a permanent fixture around our house between the hours of 5:00-8:00pm. We add a fourth place setting at dinner most evenings, and we're learning her dietary druthers; her favorite food is spaghetti, but she doesn't like tomatoes, and on a hungry day she only eats about a third as much as our munchkin. Angie might prefer they play a little less Barbies and a little more basketball, but for the most part the giggling and squealing are endless, and the combination of laughter, biking, and roughhousing leave her ready for bed at bedtime, a wonderful treat for any parents. She's calmer, happier, more motivated, more patient, compliant, and secure. Literally, the poster child for having a friend. 

Thank you Lord for this step in the right direction! Next, while we're on a roll, she could use a friend at church, and some good news on her visa. But for now, we're content with the peace in our home, even if it's sometimes a rather loud and raucous kind of peace.

"A friend loves at all times..." -Proverbs 17:17

New Life

Spring finally sprung, and just in time for Spring Break. We were even fairly toasty on the Colorado slopes, as we took Angie to ski the real mountains for the first time.   

The trip was reminiscent of my snowy spring breaks from years past, when I tried to keep up with my classmates vacationing in Florida tanning their way to beauty, by refusing sunscreen and returning like a pink raccoon. Angie, however, was born with the perfect perma-tan, so she won't be nearly as bitter that her break was a little less UV-damaging than those beach goers. 

Off the slopes we enjoyed warm weather to visit with family, celebrate spring birthdays, and remember Christ's resurrection. It was Angie's first Easter in the States, so I wanted to kind of protect her from the holiday's commercialism that hasn't yet reached Bolivia, nor probably much of the world. 

Our church's newspaper ran this awesome article about Easter activities that shine the light on Jesus. We started the week by looking up Bible verses to find the ingredients to a cookie recipe (I'd recommend adding a little extra honey or throwing in some sugar, but otherwise they were good.) For our small group, we made really yummy crescent rolls filled with cinnamon, sugar, and marshmallows, called Resurrection Rolls. And then on Easter morning before the traditional egg hunt, we created a scripture scavenger hunt for Angie and her cousin, Rachel. We had no idea how any of the ideas would go over with our moody tween, but were pleasantly surprised when she volunteered, "That was Fun!" after each activity! 

 And then, after I spent a week in Seattle with CVM (more on that trip in my next prayer letter), I came home and we started a garden. We may have jumped the gun a little on tomatoes and some of the other vegetables, but it was worth it. Jon's dad packed some Zinnias in Angie's Easter package, one of my favorites from growing up, so we planted those around the yard, as well as our Tulip bulbs from Valentine's day, some new rose bushes that Jon's had his eye on, and carrots, broccoli, and strawberries. We'll invite you over when it's harvest time. 

Whether it's new life in the form of buds on the trees, sprouts in the ground, or Christ's return from the dead, spring is full of it, and beautiful for it!

Tonight, after we put Angie to bed, we'll silently cheer the UofL Cardinals on in the NCAA championship. Tomorrow, we'll do it again for the LadyCards. What a week! And what a difference from last year! It's been a lot better on our relationship to have UK out of the picture this go around, and Jon rooting with me for the Cards. March Madness is just another celebration of the fresh possibilities of spring! Go CARDS!

"Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge Him. As surely as the sun rises, He will appear; He will come to us like the winter rains,
    like the spring rains that water the earth.” -Hosea 6:3