I feel I owe you an apology

For the time I saw the woman in Wal-mart, with the frazzled hair, yelling at three kids climbing in and out of her cart, and I thought "how provincial" (in a Belle from Beauty and the Beast sort of way, where one's life consists only of their narrow unsophisticated view from their kitchen window.) I'm sorry, I have little to no control over my child and the grocery cart either.

For every time I saw your family of 5+ children and thought "don't they know there are ways to prevent that." I'm sorry, I rarely see kids that need a home now without thinking about expanding our little family.

For each time you parents had to leave the event at 8:30pm and I didn't understand why your kids couldn't stay up till 11 just one school night. I owe you an apology, you were right, they can't stay up till 11.

When I thought "can't they just get a babysitter?" When I resented the hassle of what to do with the children during home group, or the burden of trying to staff children's church. I'm sorry, it's all making more sense now.

To those of you who declined invitations to social or service events because you needed to spend time with your family, and I thought "don't you see them all the time?" I'm sorry, there is a difference between sharing a house and quality time.

For the nights I thought you were a little obsessive about bedtime when you left somewhere early to tuck your kids in. I'm sorry, I haven't missed a night of kissing her on the forehead yet.

For the moms who make a huge deal about your first night away from your little one, I'm sorry I thought you were overreacting, I don't look forward to trying to sleep without Ange within earshot.

For the times I read in the Bible that children are a reward from the Lord, and questioned His sanity, I'm sorry Lord, I don't doubt you anymore.

Because carrying her in from the car and tucking her into her bed, is the sweetest way to end a long day. Because watching a movie with her hiding her face in my hands during the scary or romantic parts is the best way to watch a movie. Because an evening of Connect Four on the couch, with her cheating, and laughing hysterically might just be the best way to spend an evening.

On Sunday, she tried to give Baby Jaqueline (this 9 pound 1-year old pictured below) one of her Barbies, her handheld pinball machine and a necklace for her birthday, because she might just be the most generous little beauty ever! (We ended up compromising by wrapping José her stuffed yellow dog.)

"Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!"

-Psalm 127:3-5