The Illusion

I read an article recently about how Facebook paints bright, shiny, happy images of everyone's lives. Or more accurately how we paint ourselves this way by posting only the best angles, and de-tagging the less flattering, not only of photos, but of the account we share of our journey. I felt convicted, not because I've air-brushed in smiles or exaggerated adventures of our story, but because I haven't divulged the hairier moments. Partly because who really wants to read the negative stuff and who takes pictures when life is boring, but also because I probably do feel I have something to prove to those skeptics that didn't think this adopting as a single mom thing was a good idea, because it really really was! ;)

For raw honesty's sake, I'll admit that we may be going through a "testing mommy's limits" phase, but I'm pretty sure we're on the way out of it, and I'm fairly sure I caused it by being possibly a bit permissive the first couple weeks with my angel. So, I'm learning how to be firm and sort of how to discipline, or at least how to threaten discipline strongly. And she's learning when to obey, and maybe with practice on both our parts, it will someday consistently be at the first request.

One of our biggest struggles, I've recently recognized (and I think recognizing might be half the battle), is that I am a morning person and she, to put it mildly, is NOT. Which means in the morning she is a bit of a bear, and ridiculously unhurried, but in the afternoon when I'm on the slower side, she is wound up. Until it comes to homework time of course, at which point she becomes very unhurried again. To add to this, these little mini-people are very inefficient which, as some of you may know, complements my own personality interestingly.

School has been a learning curve for us both as well. Not only did I decide to adopt as a first-time single mom, an 8 year-old instead of a baby, but I decided to do it in Spanish, and in a very different culture. Maybe those skeptics were onto something... Everyday when I pick the munchkin up from school she tells me she needs money for something else that I may or may not understand; more books or school supplies that weren't on the original list, her white uniform that she stains EVERY day, or now her ballet suit for her mandatory ballet class. "Isn't it pretty?" she asks me, yes, but $40-pretty?!

So, God is teaching us both a lot. Unfortunately, I'm afraid we both still have a lot to learn, so this process, with its growing pains, might take awhile. In the meantime a little voice calls "Mami, Mami, Mami," all day every 20 seconds or so, as if seeking reassurance that through thick and thin I'm not going anywhere. I better go convince her with a giant hug and maybe some tickling.